The Power of Your Story: Why Sharing Matters for Mental Health.

Storytelling is a huge part of our life. Not only does our brain do this while we are asleep but if you look at your most recent conversations, you will be able to see that we were telling stories even without realising it.

We also see storytelling work wonders with little ones, have you ever seen a child tell a story about something scary, and you can see the fear leave their face as you are listening and then responding in a way that makes them feel safe? The story may be about something totally unreal, like a monster under their bed. To us it's fake and can't be true but to them it is their whole world in that moment and as soon as we reassure them that it's going to be okay the fear almost goes away instantly. Stories are that powerful.

Sharing a story can take the weight off our shoulders. Unfortunately, some stories are harder for us to tell. These stories are traumatic, unwanted, and sometimes they feel like we are living in a horror fiction book. When we can share the stories with others, the story keeps growing and getting bigger and bigger, and all it wants to do is get out, but because it can't, it takes over our body. We have nightmares, whenever we hear a sound that reminds us of the story, we get scared and at times even jump into the character of that story. This may affect us for years on end, no break and no way to share the story it just can't come out. It's too scary.

This is PTSD in a nutshell. Storytelling is a huge tool when working with almost anyone, I know this because for years I couldn't share my story. It stuck with me and at times ran my life.

In my story, I was a little boy who had been born into a life of fear. This little boy walked with me everywhere I went and made almost every decision I made, or at least had a large say in it. The little boy was so scared he couldn't sleep in his own bed until he was 15. This was years after the scary chapters of my story were written. People knew the stuff that was in my story and even hearing people talk about my story had no effect on me because I couldn't share my story, everyone was sharing it for me which in turn kind of made things worse come to think of it. By them sharing it for me, it was triggering and kept me inside the book.

I do not remember the day I started sharing my story, I do not remember what I was doing or who I was with, but even writing this, I can feel the same feeling I felt that day of the weight lifting off my shoulders. Once I was no longer scared of sharing my story and letting that little boy out, I never stopped. Overtime me and that little boy were able to yell it from the tallest building and tell it to rooms of thousands.

Fast forward 10 years, and that little boy is still with me. That's just trauma. Whenever I share my story, I always get asked the same question. "How can you clearly talk about what has happened?" My answer to this is the same every time: I am not scared of the story anymore. It's not my story, my story is still being written. My past is a story I lived and closed the book on many years ago. Me and my friend trauma are now here to move on with life.

Don't get me wrong sometimes, I feel like I am watching a flashback in a movie back to that story and me and the little boy panic for a bit then we realise that's not us anymore. We know this.

If you are a person who is still holding your book closed, I say this to you.

The time will come, and if it comes, let it go. It may not be for years yet but it will come. Every chapter comes to an end at some point and if you're like me and want to rewrite another book, go for it. It's incredible the power you get from closing that book and putting it on the bookshelf. Just give it time. Everyone deserves to write a fairy tale.

For everyone else on this platform who has a chance to support someone who opens up their book and shares their story. No matter whether you are a counsellor, support worker or salesperson, you may be the person someone feels comfortable sharing their story with. Maybe a family member, friend, client or stranger, I ask that if/when this time comes, no talking, no "you poor thing" or "oh no's", you just listen. You may be on the first page of their new book.

Written By Joe Horvat

Recovery Coach & Complex Care Manager